Material vs. Memories

With the holidays coming up, my mom and I were already speaking about plans for Christmas and how this year’s gift exchange would work. I always look forward to my parent’s gifts, because they always manage to find some quirky, fun item that I’ve never seen before. And, now with our expanded family, they receive the same joy in seeing the boys open these unique gifts.

Let me give you an example or two… From a trip to Holland, MI, my mom came back with some creative gifts in tow: a set of hats for all of us - Dutch girl hat for me, as well as Dutch hats for my husband and ‘the boys’. Not to mention the awesome plush yellow clog slippers… Just imagine that picture! Two 18 year olds and my husband in some brightly colored hats with feathers… Now do you get the idea?

But as we all get older, it gets increasingly difficult to find new and exciting gifts for our growing family. This year, mom was talking about just giving cash or gift cards so people could pick out exactly what they want. As we spoke, I recalled reading a Thomas Kinkade book where he mentioned something that really grabbed my attention. Instead of spending any extra ‘fun money’ on material things, without exception he and his wife would use those funds for a fun outing or experience. Basically, they intentionally create memories for themselves and their children. I’ve been inspired to do the same thing.

Do we really need that extra pair of jeans? Must we absolutely have the newly released shoes, or the latest and greatest electronic equipment? If we really resolve to answer that question honestly, the answer is no. We can live without it, and in some cases, we can gain something by not having it all.

So, this year, we’ll be starting a new tradition - a family outing to the theater, a cottage, or even a road trip instead of money on gifts. Will the kids complain? Probably. Will it be more work to plan? Of course. But will it be worth more than a gift that sits unused one week after Christmas? I definitely think so.

As I get older, I realize the value of memories with family and friends. Those are the things that cannot be taken from you, cannot be broken, and cannot be destroyed. Memories cannot be foreclosed upon. Memories are the small, simple threads that tie our lives together. They are the foundations that are solidified and ready when the storms do come. Take the time to create some memories this week and be intentional about creating experiences and stories that will be told for generations.

Who Are You? (Part II)

The foundation of who we are should not be based on what we DO, what we HAVE, or what EXPECTATIONS are placed upon us.

EXPECTATIONS play a huge role in who we THINK we are, or better put, who we are TOLD we are SUPPOSED to be. Our answer to ’Who Are You?’ varies depending on who we are talking to. For our whole lives, we tend to give the answers based on what we think they want to hear. (i.e.: To my parents when I was living with them they got PART of the picture: I am an honor-roll student, hard worker, etc – I’d just hide some of the other shall we say not-so-pleasing details for them...) Sometimes the expectations are self-imposed (i.e.: ’I’m a pastor’s wife and I’m supposed to have it SOOOO together, why can’t I get this right??’) I have a feeling we battle with this our entire lives – we like to be accepted and feel like we ’fit’.

If we take all that out of the mix, we still need a way to define ourselves. To make our mark. To feel important and purposed. I questioned my purpose as long as I can remember, and STILL do at times. But here are some points I use to remind myself…


BE CONTENT
Money can’t buy love, or anything else that’s of true meaning, anyway. This one has been a struggle for me. I ask ’How can I be blessed when xyz is going on?’ When the mortgage is due, when my mom was about to die, when the car breaks down yet again...’ But there are things in our life we can’t put a value on... You know what they are. Remember those when you’re feeling discontented.

"You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.
Matthew 5:4-6 (The Message)


EXPLORE (DON’T COMPARE)
A huge weight is lifted when we stop trying to keep up with the ’Joneses’. All those comparative ways of looking at ourselves (what we have and what we do) are instantly out of the picture – It removes a TON of frustration (FYI - I am totally preaching to myself here)

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.
Galatians 6:3-5


BE DOWN TO EARTH
Honesty really is the best policy. I’ve heard if you lie less you have to remember less. Life would be so much easier if we weren’t trying to pigeonhole ourselves into our and other’s expectations. I’m not saying to keep it SO real that you do whatever you feel like without considering others, but we have to stop trying to live up to impossible expectations. If we are trying to impress others by fitting in their description of who we are, do we really want to be associated with people whose sole concern is outside appearance or other irrelevant factors? The only person we really have to answer to is God – and he sees the truth anyway, so why not just be open about who we truly are?

…Be down to earth with each other, for—
God has had it with the proud,
But takes delight in just plain people.
So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs [a front].
1 Peter 5:4b-7

Of all of these points, the quote below sums it up the most for me. I really had my own little identity crisis going when I was younger until I began shifting my focus and understanding my real purpose...

’Not only do we not know God except through Jesus Christ; We do not even know ourselves except through Jesus Christ.’ - Blaise Pascal – Biography

(My all-time favorite quote is at my desk at work so I’ll have to post that one later.)

Peace,
Jen

Who Are You? (Part 1)

***We just wrapped up a great series of workshops at an annual conference called EMPOWER. The focus of the youth sessions revolved around discovering who we are, which of course, also prompts me to search myself for that answer...

Think on this for a second - How do YOU answer the question ’Who Are You?...???

When asked ’Who Are You?’, we tend to instinctively define ourselves by what we DO. We can provide a laundry list of titles and achievements that we’ve racked up for ourselves over the years. It’s also easy to catalog our favorite hobbies as a definition of who we are (i.e. – I’m a Wife, Foster Parent, Church Planter, Employee, Artist...)

We also at times automatically define ourselves by what we HAVE – material things, relationships, you name it. (i.e. – I’m a homeowner, I drive a [plug in car model here], etc.)

But to really get down to the foundation of WHO we are, it has nothing to do with what we HAVE or what we DO. Those things can change overnight, and if they do, it can shake our whole foundation...

Higher

Inspired by a track featuring sample from 'Higher' ("Latest Greatest Inspiration" - Teddy Pendergrass) It's still in progress.

Higher (Jennifer Torres)

More than I could have imagined or asked for
More than I even knew to seek
Never thought I deserved something so good
God provided a man that compliments me

Baby the way you lift me up
Makes me feel like I can accomplish anything
Your love for me is the blueprint
For what a real man need to be

You encourage me to dream
By breaking out of the fear
Healing me from wounds I didn't
Realize I had so many years

Nobody but you see me for the real me
And know me like you do
Callin me to task but making me a better person for it
Despite the challenges we been through

Never telling me that something can't be done
Nothing is impossible with you
Working together great things will be accomplished
We can take over

They said things wouldn't last
But now all that drama is in the past
We gotta keep pressin on
And keep on lifting each other up

No one else will do it for us
Since we're the head and not the tail
God promised a happily ever after
In this fairy tale

Letter of Thanks

Just came across my old online journal and this entry stood out... I think I knew I would need to hear this later when I wrote it 8 years ago... Even before I moved out, before I was married, before we started a church, before a WHOLE LOT of stuff in my life changed...

Jen

Thursday, May 4, 2000

Today the jovenes wrote letters thanking God for all the positive things in life, so we can look back at it when we are really down. Here is my letter:

Thank You

I know sometimes I so easily forget all the beautiful things you have done for me. You provide so much, so many little things, and the big things. When I get down, please bring all this to my mind.

First of all, thank you for saving me, even though I was rebellious and lacked personal conviction at times. Without you, my life would be meaningless - I would have no drive or purpose.

Thank you for giving me my family, although I become frustrated at times, I see how they support and love me.

Thank you for providing me with the basic needs that not everyone has. I take it for granted that I have a bed to sleep in my own room. I shouldn't complain that it floods, I should be thankful that I have a room to flood :o) I have clean clothes and food each day, and don't have to worry about where my next meal will come from.

And thank you for all the little things you bless me with. I hope I never forget the beauty you send my way - From the huge sunflower growing out of the concrete expressway, to the hundreds of butterflies flying overhead on my way to work and the cloudy, purplish orange sunset on my way home.

Thank you for my friends, who I can confide in and just have fun with. I am fortunate that you have entrusted them to me.

Remind me of all of these things when I am complaining that my room flooded again, or my car broke down, or that my life seems to be falling apart. Show me that through everything, you are there holding it all together.

Love,
Jennie

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:38,39